Misery

I used to be happy enough, better than now at least.
Was I?

Now there is nothing but profound misery.
My inability to stand up and advocate for myself has led me to this. I can't push back against the important things. I don't have the will or the energy.

All of this is my own internal bullshit.

I have a good paying job, no real stress, no long hours, not too many assholes.
I have a loving wife and family, all relatively healthy. We have issues, but are OK

But still, I can't cope. I am always miserable. The whole thing seems pointless.
I have no passion for what I do
Not at home
Not at work
Not on the farm
Even running has something missing

There is nothing.
Maybe it was always like this, I'm not sure. I don't know how to step back and look anymore, this is too much of how I define myself